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How Great Leaders Coach: PART 2

Last week we kicked off our series on Coaching with an introduction to the two most powerful tools in coaching, Acknowledgment and Validation. Those simple tools, used judiciously and authentically, can make your team members feel heard and lead to increased engagement. This week we introduce four more tools – Listening, Clarifying, Asking Permission, and Brainstorming. But first, as a prerequisite to these or any coaching efforts, you must be present.

To Coach, you must ALWAYS Be Present

For coaching to be effective you must earn the trust of your team members. Once you have it, you must keep it. Being present in every team meeting, one-on-one session, or situation where you are interacting is key. It is the best way to show respect to the person/people you are with.

Being Present means not

Tool #3: Listening

Listening is one of the most important aspects of communication, but there are distinct levels which a good leader and coach must be aware of.

  • Level 1 Listening is purely subjective, Meaning the listener is focused on exactly what the speaker is saying without “looking under the hood.”
  • Level 2 Listening, or objective listening, is entirely about what the other person is saying. Listening without relating what the person is saying to a personal or professional experience of yours. This can be challenging for a leader since much of your role is as a mentor as well, but this is not the time for advice.
  • The highest level of Listening is Active or Intuitive Listening. This is when the leader reads body language and sensory input beyond the words to learn what is behind them. It incorporates not only what the speaker is saying, but how they are saying it, and what they are not saying

Want to learn more about how active listening can turn a typical conversation into a coaching opportunity? Check out the article from the Center for Creative Leadership.

Tool #4: Clarifying

Once you have listened, it is important to ensure you have correctly and understood what is been said. Clarifying can help you do that. It can also help the speaker understand the importance of a word or phrase. So, do not be afraid to ask questions as in the example below…

Team Member: I’m really struggling to build a partnership with Joe. I know it’s important to get his department’s point of view on the project, but he is challenging to keep focused.

Leader: What do you mean by focus?

Team Member: I send him work to review and he never does, then he comes to the meeting and I need to walk him through the material – but he gets distracted by formatting or grammar issues. This makes the team have to work ridiculous hours to get the work done.

Leader: Tell me what “ridiculous hours” mean?

Team Member: To meet the prescribed deadlines, they are working their regular hours plus late nights and weekends. They are really starting to burn out.

Leader: So how do we plan differently to ensure the deadlines are more reasonable going forward, or that you have more resources to meet them without such a negative impact on the team?

Tools #5 and #6: Asking Permission and Brainstorming

So, this section is a twofer – because Brainstorming is a coaching skill you will ask your team members for permission before embarking on. The reason asking permission is important, here, and anytime you want to share an observation, is to keep trust and avoid pushing your agenda or ideas on your team member. Coaching, as an arm of learning, is more powerful than telling because it enables the future.

You both have a problem to solve, you need to set up the situation so you can solve it together. Because your responsibility is to your team member to help them grow, so you can both fulfill responsibilities to the organization. By asking their permission you give the team member ownership and support. For more great information on the Power of Permission, check out this article from NGrowth.

Brainstorming is a familiar tool for most of you, if not check out the “How might we” or “HMW” process for brainstorming that is effectively used at Google, Facebook, and IDEO. No matter what the process, Brainstorming is an engaging way to generate ideas to approach challenges and exchange insights. When you brainstorm with your team member you share not only your ideas but your critical thinking process. If you use this tool keep in mind there is to be no judgment of ideas along the way. It is simply a safe space to explore possibilities.

Below is an example of how the earlier scenario might continue into a short brainstorming exercise:

Leader: So, we need to plan differently to ensure the deadlines are more reasonable going forward, or that you have more resources to meet them without such negative impact on the team?

Team Member: Yes.

Leader: Ok, would you be open to doing a little brainstorming exercise to work this out?

Team Member: Great, how do we get started?

Leader: Let’s just share all the ideas that we can think of… How might we either extend the delivery or get more resources to solve this problem?

Team Member: Hire an added designer for my team.

Leader: What else? (and so on, you will also contribute here but let your team member lead)

Your team members deserve leaders who are present. That means listening, asking questions and helping them solve problems (and not doing it for them.) These four tools, along with Acknowledging and Validating, are a great starter kit for leading your employees with confidence. Come back next week when we close our coaching series with three more simple tools and resources. Feel like you need more one-on-one help? The Hire offers Coaching Services and can help you help your leaders to become better coaches. Get in touch to learn more!

me

Lisa Crockett is a leader and professional development coach with more than 20 years of experience in Human Resources, Learning, and Performance. To learn more about her professional career visit her on LinkedIn.

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